Ah, the artistic process. That sacred ritual where you, the tortured artist, delve deep into your soul, searching for that elusive spark of creativity. It’s all very dramatic, very profound, and—if we’re being honest—very much a convenient excuse to avoid actually getting anything done. Let’s face it, your so-called “process” is just procrastination dressed up in a beret and a smock.
So, let’s strip away the pretense, shall we? It’s time to confront the ugly truth about your artistic journey: it’s less about creating art and more about finding new and inventive ways to avoid creating art. Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of how your artistic process is really just procrastination in disguise.
Step 1: The Endless Quest for “Inspiration”
It all starts with the search for inspiration. You tell yourself that you can’t possibly begin your masterpiece until the muse strikes, right? So, you embark on an epic quest to find that elusive inspiration, which inevitably leads you down a rabbit hole of distractions.
First, you decide to scroll through Instagram for “artistic ideas.” Next thing you know, you’re three hours deep into a feed filled with cute cat videos, gourmet food pics, and the latest drama in your high school friend’s life. But hey, maybe somewhere between the memes and the latte art, you’ll stumble upon that one post that will ignite your creative fire. Spoiler alert: you won’t.
And let’s not forget the classic “I’ll just watch one episode” of that show you’ve been meaning to catch up on. Suddenly, it’s 2 a.m., and you’ve binge-watched an entire season. Inspiration? More like procrastination wrapped in a cozy blanket with a side of popcorn.
Step 2: The Over-Preparation Phase
Now that you’ve successfully avoided finding inspiration, it’s time to prepare your workspace. After all, you can’t create in a messy environment, right? So, you spend the next few hours (or days) meticulously organizing your art supplies, rearranging your desk, and cleaning every nook and cranny of your studio.
You convince yourself that this is all part of the process, that a tidy space equals a tidy mind. But let’s be real: you’re just stalling. You’re avoiding the terrifying reality of facing a blank canvas, page, or whatever medium you’re pretending to work in.
And don’t even get me started on the ritual of setting up your perfect playlist. You know, the one that’s going to magically align your chakras and unlock your creative potential. Sure, spending an hour curating the ultimate soundtrack to your artistic genius seems productive—until you realize you’ve spent more time picking songs than you have actually creating anything.
Step 3: The Tool Obsession
You’ve finally organized your space, and now it’s time to gather your tools. But wait—are you sure you’re using the right materials? Maybe if you had that one high-end paintbrush, or that fancy digital tablet, your art would finally reach its full potential.
So begins the endless cycle of researching, comparing, and purchasing new supplies. You’ll spend hours reading reviews, watching unboxing videos, and agonizing over whether to splurge on that top-of-the-line set of pencils. Of course, once you’ve acquired your new tools, you’ll need to test them out—just to make sure they’re worthy of your talent.
But here’s the thing: the perfect tools won’t make you a better artist. They’re just another excuse to put off the actual work. And deep down, you know it.
Step 4: The Doodle Stage (A.K.A. Avoiding Commitment)
At this point, you’ve run out of excuses. Your space is organized, your tools are ready, and you’ve even found a sliver of inspiration (thanks to that obscure indie film you watched last night). It’s time to create. But instead of diving into your project, you start with a few “warm-up” sketches.
Doodling is harmless, right? It’s just a way to get the creative juices flowing. Except that doodling is also a way to avoid committing to anything substantial. Those little sketches in the margins of your notebook? They’re your subconscious’s way of saying, “Hey, let’s just stay in the shallow end of the creativity pool where it’s safe and cozy.”
Before you know it, you’ve filled an entire sketchbook with meaningless scribbles, but you haven’t made any progress on the project you’ve been “working” on for weeks. But hey, at least you’re drawing, right? That counts for something. (It doesn’t.)
Step 5: The Overthinking Marathon
Congratulations! You’ve finally managed to start your project. But now comes the most dangerous stage of all: overthinking. This is where your inner critic comes out to play, picking apart every line, every stroke, every decision you make.
“Is this the right color palette? Should I add more texture? Does this even make sense?” You spiral into a vortex of self-doubt, questioning every move you make. What was once a simple idea has now become a tangled web of “what ifs” and “maybes.”
Overthinking is the ultimate form of procrastination because it disguises itself as perfectionism. You convince yourself that you’re just trying to make your work the best it can be, but in reality, you’re just scared of finishing it—because finishing means facing the possibility that it might not be perfect.
Step 6: The Distraction Dilemma
You’re knee-deep in your project when suddenly, the urge to check your phone becomes unbearable. What if you miss an important email? Or maybe someone just posted something hilarious on Twitter? Before you know it, you’re down the social media rabbit hole again, scrolling through an endless stream of nonsense.
But it’s not just social media that distracts you. Maybe you decide that now is the perfect time to reorganize your closet, or you suddenly remember that you haven’t called your mom in a while. Any distraction will do, as long as it keeps you from finishing your work.
Distractions are just another way to avoid the discomfort of creation. They’re easy, they’re tempting, and they’re everywhere. And you’re all too willing to indulge in them.
Step 7: The Last-Minute Rush
Finally, after weeks (or months) of procrastination, you find yourself staring down a deadline. Whether it’s self-imposed or from an external source, the pressure is on, and you’ve run out of excuses. Suddenly, you’re in a frantic race against time to finish your project.
You pull all-nighters, fueled by caffeine and panic, desperately trying to make up for all the time you wasted. Your once meticulous process goes out the window as you rush to slap something—anything—together.
And you know what? You’ll probably get it done. But instead of feeling accomplished, you’ll feel exhausted and resentful. And the cycle will start all over again the next time you embark on a new project.
Step 8: The Post-Project Hangover
The project is done, but now you’re left with a sense of emptiness. You’re physically and mentally drained, and you can’t bring yourself to start anything new. So, you enter a phase of post-project limbo, where you convince yourself that you need a “break” to recharge.
What you’re really doing is procrastinating on starting the next project. Because deep down, you know the cycle will begin again, and you’re just not ready to face it.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Procrastination (But Not Too Much)
So, what’s the takeaway here? Am I saying that your artistic process is a lie, and you’re doomed to a life of procrastination? Not exactly. Procrastination is a natural part of the creative process, and it’s something we all struggle with. But the key is recognizing when your “process” is just an excuse to avoid the hard work of creating.
So, embrace the messiness, the distractions, and the overthinking—but don’t let them control you. At some point, you have to stop pretending and start doing. Because, let’s be honest, the world doesn’t need another tortured artist who never finishes anything.
Stay snarky,
~ Rita 🖤