Ah, customer calls—the bane of every call center worker’s existence. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of these little slices of hell, you know that it takes a special kind of mental gymnastics to get through them without completely losing your sanity. Whether it’s the irate customer demanding to know why their bill is $0.02 higher than last month, or the confused caller who thinks you’re tech support for every gadget they own, customer calls are the ultimate test of patience, endurance, and your ability to fake a smile through gritted teeth.
So, how does one survive the never-ending barrage of complaints, questions, and general nonsense that comes with this job? Let’s dive into the fine art of not losing your mind while handling customer calls—because if I can do it, anyone can.
Step 1: Embrace the Zen of the “Mute” Button
First things first: the mute button is your best friend. It’s the little savior on your headset that allows you to momentarily escape the madness without the customer knowing. Need to scream into the void after a particularly idiotic question? Mute. Want to have a mini breakdown because someone just asked if you could “turn the internet back on”?
Mute.
It’s the ultimate tool for keeping your cool when you’re one step away from throwing your headset out the window.
Pro tip: Just make sure you actually press the mute button before unleashing that string of curses. Trust me, you don’t want to be the one who accidentally lets the customer hear what you really think of their ridiculous request.
Step 2: Perfect the Art of the Fake Smile
In customer service, the phrase “kill them with kindness” takes on a whole new meaning. No matter how obnoxious or irrational the caller is, you’re expected to be as sweet as pie. But let’s be real—no one can be that cheerful all the time, especially when dealing with people who seem to think you’re a wizard who can magically fix all their problems with a wave of your hand.
That’s where the fake smile comes in. It’s not just about sounding nice; it’s about tricking your brain into staying calm while you’re internally screaming. Research shows that forcing a smile can actually make you feel a little better, even if you’d rather be anywhere else but on this call. So, plaster on that grin, even if it’s just to keep yourself from snapping.
Step 3: Develop a Go-To Script
Let’s face it—most customer calls are the same, just with different names and account numbers. You can practically predict what they’re going to say next. So why not make your life easier by developing a go-to script for the most common issues? Whether it’s explaining the same troubleshooting steps for the hundredth time or soothing yet another irate customer who’s “never had this problem before,” having a script in your back pocket can save you a lot of mental energy.
Of course, the key is to make it sound like you’re not reading from a script. Add a little variation, throw in a personalized touch, and voila! You’re a customer service pro who sounds like they genuinely care—even if you’re just reciting the same old lines.
Step 4: Lower Your Expectations (Way Lower)
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in customer service is expecting too much from the people on the other end of the line. Lower your expectations. Way lower. Because here’s the truth: most customers have no idea what they’re talking about, and many of them don’t even know what they want. They’re calling you because they’re confused, frustrated, or just plain clueless, and they expect you to fix it.
Accepting this reality can save you a lot of grief. Don’t expect them to understand technical jargon, and don’t be surprised when they ask you to explain something you’ve already explained three times. Just take a deep breath, channel your inner Dumbledore, and remember that you’re getting paid to deal with this bullshit—not to take it personally.
Step 5: Take Breaks Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)
If you’re not taking every single break you’re entitled to, you’re doing it wrong. Customer calls can be draining—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. By the time you’ve dealt with a few hours of non-stop complaints, your brain feels like mush, and you’re ready to snap at the next person who so much as breathes wrong.
That’s why breaks are crucial. Step away from your desk, stretch your legs, and give your brain a chance to reset. Whether it’s a quick walk outside, a coffee break, or just staring into space for a few minutes, taking time to decompress is the only way to survive the relentless onslaught of customer calls. Don’t skip it—your sanity depends on it.
Step 6: Laugh It Off
Sometimes, the only way to get through a ridiculous customer call is to laugh about it. Seriously, some of the things people say are so absurd that you couldn’t make them up if you tried. Instead of letting these moments drive you crazy, try to find the humor in them. Share the funniest (and most infuriating) stories with your coworkers during breaks—it’s a great way to bond over the shared misery and remind yourself that you’re not alone in this madness.
Plus, if you can laugh about it, it loses some of its power to ruin your day. So, the next time someone asks if you can send a technician to fix their Wi-Fi because “the internet is broken,” just smile, laugh about it later, and move on.
Step 7: Remember, It’s Just a Job
At the end of the day, customer service is just a job. It’s not your life, it’s not your identity, and it’s definitely not worth losing your mind over. The next time you feel like you’re about to snap on a call, take a step back and remind yourself that this is just a small part of your day. You’re not defined by how well you handle a customer who can’t figure out how to turn on their phone.
And when the workday is over, leave it all behind. Don’t take the stress home with you. You did your job, you survived another day, and now it’s time to focus on the things that actually matter—like binge-watching your favorite show, gaming, or finally getting to that art project you’ve been putting off.
Customer calls can be a special kind of torture, but with the right mindset and a few survival strategies, you can get through them without losing your mind. Remember to use that mute button liberally, perfect your fake smile, and laugh off the ridiculousness whenever you can. Most importantly, don’t let the chaos of customer service get under your skin—after all, it’s just a job, and there’s a whole world waiting for you outside of those call center walls.
Stay snarky,
~Rita 🖤